SUCCESS. How many of us are living and striving for “success” that isn’t truly ours? I’ve seen thinking about “success” lately, and realize how much conditioning still lives in me to be “successful.” How my nervous system can’t relax as it’s always on edge striving to be “successful”. Driven by unconscious fear and anxiety of being a failure instead of “successful." What does that even mean? I’ve uncovered some old hidden beliefs that I need to have a “respectable" career, that is doing something “good” for the world, and be making “good” money. I ventured down the path of being an environmental engineer, for these reasons 1) I wanted to do something to protect our planet (which was very much aligned with the care of the planet in my heart and soul), 2) it was an esteemed profession, 3) it would “pay” off (which seemed to be important to people when advising me on career choices). When I was studying engineering, I secretly knew I didn’t want to be an engineer. I had no idea what else to do, as I thought wanted to study art (or at least that was closer to what I wanted, but what my heart wanted didn’t seem to be out there), but that was ruled out as it went against my conditioning of making good money and doing something “good.” Now, as I’ve ventured into the path of healing and coaching for the last 5 years, I am bombarded with “success” stories, how to make more money, get "high-end" clients, sell yourself, etc. I find it overwhelming, with messages proclaiming to do this thing and then you will have “success.” I’ve even been caught a few times into believing that someone else had the answer, and abandoning my own natural wisdom. It’s been a reminder to watch myself and discover what truly is important to me. I have to carefully return back to my own path, of what is being asked of me at this moment, not jumping ahead into promises of something that I may not even really want or serve me or the world. My success is not externally defined, but an internal fulfillment and satisfaction. Yes, I would like to have enough money to care for my basic needs, and to travel to my favorite places on this Earth, and some recognition of my life’s work. But the path of success must follow what my soul's unfolding for me is. And I realize I come from a place of relative privilege for “success”, that the majority of the world does not have (well educated, middle class, housed and fed, white American). What’s important right now, is I trust the journey will bring the unique lessons I signed up for, I will be cared for in divine intelligence, and I will learn to take the steps needed in the world for my fulfillment. And I don’t have to force it into striving for some external definition- it is already here in the naturalness of living my life on this planet.
SUCCESS is right here, right now, as I am.
Protectress of Mother Earth, Energy Healing, Plant Medicine Integration, Coach, Writer