In this transformative container quarantine has gifted us, I’ve plunged into themes of power, privilege, discrimination, giving, receiving, caring and respect.
The deep wells of this conditioning weave though the collective all over the world and through time and lifetimes. I recognize the immense amount of privilege I grew up into compared to most of the world. And I am no expert on these topics of power, privilege and discrimination that so many have dedicated their lives to. Yet, we all have our piece of the puzzle to unravel.
As a white woman, growing up in a middle-class American life, I was subjected to my own unique conditioning. On a fundamental personal level, I learned that power was “bad” and caused harm to others. I learned to submit and back down, to quiet my voice to keep the peace, in fear of being overpowered, shamed, hurt and even killed. At the same time, I also learned empathy, about how to truly care for others, and how to offer and be of service in the name of love. And I learned to do this without embodying my power, in some ways, I was trained at “giving it away.”
I remember a workshop many years in San Francisco, where the author of the book “Power and Love: A Theory and Practice of Social Change” (Adam Kahane) opened my eyes to these core issues as they play out in the inequality of the world. At the time, I was deeply involved in environmental issues, and had begun to see how the out of balance dynamics of the 3rd and 4th chakras were playing out in the environmental world.
"The two methods most frequently employed to solve our toughest social problems—either relying on violence and aggression or submitting to endless negotiation and compromise—are fundamentally flawed. This ias because the seemingly contradictory drives behind these approaches—power, the desire to achieve one’s purpose, and love, the urge to unite with others—are actually complementary.”
I’ve descended deeper into seeing how this separation still lives within myself, in my interactions in the world, my relationships, my business…everywhere. I feel the uncomfortable truth of how not embodying and integrating power and love actually lives within me and in the issues plaguing our world (we have an excellent example now). I have had an unconsciousness belief that in order to receive something, I have to give, over give and give again, until I’m exhausted. I care about others, the world, the Earth, and yet, opening too much without boundaries and direction, doesn’t serve anyone or anything involved. The Laws of the Universe do not work like that. Giving also from a place of simply loving so much all of life, yet forgetting that love also extends to taking care of personal power.
Integration of power and love is also integration of the human and spirit. How can we restore this balance internally, so we can act from that alignment? We bring care and respect for all beings - including ourselves, the Earth, our humanity. We stay open to learning in our interactions, receiving and giving feedback, and a willingness to see our shadows.
Praying for those who’ve struggled deeply in this realm - those in marginalized populations, other parts of the world, ethnicities, classes, sexual orientations, genders, disabilities, ages, the have and have nots, all who’ve been subjected to these conditionings living in our collective consciousness.
"When the Condor of the South comes together with the Eagle of the North, the spirit of Mother Earth - Pacha Mama - will awake, then She will awake millions of her children, this will be the Resurrection of the Dead.” (Incan Elder Willaru Huayta)
Reunion. The condor and the eagle. The heart and the mind. The feminine and the masculine. Intuition and intellect. We are not awake until these are alive and in harmony.
What’s arising now is a frustration and deep concern. Many have been in the depths of fear, death, and restriction and have discovered new joys, the infinite space to feel, and our long-lost appreciation for the Earth.
The time is coming to reemerge. Everyone is restless, with the late spring energy, warm sunshine, aliveness of life beckoning us all out into the world.
But our work is not done. I feel despair that we won’t integrate, that we won’t reap the harvest of all that has unfolded. That we won’t use what we’ve transformed to change our ways and relationship to the world. Perhaps it’s my own angst I’m feeling.
In truth, I don’t know what will happen. Today, tomorrow, next week, next month. Everything is uncertain…still. The mind does not like not knowing. We’ve been for many months collectively unknowing. Refocusing on intuition is the only way to reassure my angst. Listening to my heart, my body, my indirect knowing…those parts know it’s OK. Everything is ok. Life is ok. The world is ok.
The forces at work here are much bigger than any one or collective mind can comprehend. My intuition says I’m on the path I’m meant to be, and we are all on the path we are meant to be, however those unfold. We have in our beings the transformation on deep and subtle levels, that will now radiate out into the world in new, unexpected ways.
The question now is can we keep our hearts open as these shifts happen. Can we welcome whatever arises with an open heart, not returning to the old patterns of the mind?
Feeling a strong desire and steadfast care for the world, as we reemerge. Holding my heart open as best I can, with the intention of harmony, reunion, and integration.
Protectress of Mother Earth, Energy Healing, Plant Medicine Integration, Coach, Writer